A while ago, when life was different, I wrote a post called “Waiting.” I just went and reread it – I was thinking “what did I know about waiting then?” Turns out, more than I remember. It’s a good post. You should reread it too.
Turns out, the feeling I wrote about then that I needed to quit my job was prescient. I did quit my job, and got one that in many ways is so much better for me and my dreams.
But the dreams still haven’t been fulfilled. Desires haven’t gone away, no matter how hard I try to push them away (and usually sink into depression when I try). That same prescient feeling I had to quit my job is back, but has a different objective in mind this time.
You may have noticed that I wrote a post called “Moving On” about a week ago. It’s a big post – took me over a week to write. No one, except my mentor, has read it yet. Honestly, not many people will get to. It’s not for public consumption, and so far, it’s for nobody’s consumption.
You see, I’m waiting. One day during the week and a half I was writing it I was talking to God on my way home from work about it. We talked A LOT about that post. I said, “Hey God, I don’t want to do things out of Your time this time. I want it to be at just the right time, so how about we have a code word to let me know when it’s the right time (Your time) to share it?” I suggested the word “now.” God had a better code word, one not quite so common, so we went with His. I’m not going to try to manipulate the timing, so only two very trustworthy humans know the code word.
In the meantime I’m waiting again. It’s taken on a different quality this time. I’m at peace, I feel resolute, and I’m being challenged in other ways. Remember that book I wrote last fall? Progress is being made on it! Like, God told me to share it with a certain person, I was apprehensive because of rebuffs I’ve received from this person before, but the response was much better than I anticipated. We’ll see what happens with it, but I’m kind of excited and hoping again.
In these times of waiting, I turn to great literature to help give me perspective. Yes, I still read my Bible twice a day and lay in bed and talk to God until I have to rush to not be late to work. But there are other sources of inspiration to encourage me, such as this marvelous gem of a book:
Mo Willems is one of my favorite authors, and this book sums up the challenges of waiting so well. I don’t have my Amazon affiliation anymore, but you can still go here to buy it. I keep my copy in my top desk drawer and refer to it often.
I especially appreciate the part towards the end, when Gerald (the elephant) is convinced that Piggie’s surprise was not worth all the waiting, that they had waited too long, and that they had wasted too much time in waiting. Gerald thought that it was too late because it was getting dark.
But then, just when Gerald thought it was too late, Piggie’s surprise was revealed. And Gerald agreed that it was worth the wait.
I’m pretty confident that God’s plans (and surprises) for me will be worth the wait too.