I feel like all this blog is now is a place where I occasionally update just to let my faithful readers (pretty easy to be faithful when each post is six months apart) that I’m still alive, still doing well, and not much else has changed!
We have now passed the 2 year mark of the break up that changed my life and sent me suicidal. I was a little down the week before, but the anniversary itself was unremarkable in it’s normality. I really liked that. I do not want that day to have any power over me anymore and for the most part it didn’t.
The events of the world are affecting me mentally more than anything these days. It sucks. Everything sucks. Scrolling Facebook makes me depressed. I know, I should take a Facebook fast, but then my anxiety kicks in and reminds me of everything I’m missing. I determined this morning that I will not scroll Facebook before I have read my Bible. It will probably help to put the goodness of God in my mind before I expose myself to the crap the world constantly throws at me. I also have thoughts and opinions about what is all happening in the world, but they do not match the opinions of the mainstream media or the woke mob, so I’ll mostly continue being the “silent majority.” I’m also getting tired of that though – if the majority feels that way then the majority should start speaking up before the majority becomes the oppressed minority – so I’ve been bravely sharing a few things on Facebook. Not from my own personal perspective, but articles I agree with written by others. It makes me feel like I’m doing something. I also think back to that one political post I wrote years ago. My thoughts haven’t changed much from that – I think most people on opposites sides of the political spectrum really want the same results with different methods. Except for those anarchists who want to totally destroy the great American Experiment. I don’t want those results at all.
Coronavirus-wise I think we weathered that pretty well. We live in one of the best states in the nation, in my humble, totally-biased opinion, and I thank God every day to live where I live. I don’t really believe the media’s take on it – I know it is a horrible disease and should be treated with utmost concern and caution, but I think the media-induced panic was totally unnecessary. Take precautions but don’t lose your mind.
My job is going well. It’s very different being the boss, but I generally like it. I love the feeling I get knowing that I am now doing something that is more along the lines of what God wants me to do. I love knowing that what I do is making a difference in people’s lives – is changing people’s lives for the good. That also helps me weather the world’s storms. I can’t do everything or fix everything, but I can do what I can do. Right now that is working towards helping people get safe, decent, and affordable housing. I like it.
Nothing has happened romantically in my life since I broke up with my boyfriend this last New Year’s Eve. It was still the best break-up I’ve ever had and we’re still friends who talk occasionally. I think he even tried to matchmake for me a few weeks ago. He’s a super good guy. There are always possibilities on the horizon, but nothing’s quite on my radar yet. I feel very content just staying close to God, working, and doing life with my family. No rush, no pressure.
I have had thoughts about what I want this blog to look like or become. I don’t want to delete it, but I definitely don’t need it as part of a therapeutic process anymore. I want to leave it up because I believe all the posts I wrote during a very difficult time of my life might be able to help others during difficult times in their lives. But I might take part of it in a different direction, if I ever get my butt in gear and get writing more. So we’ll see! You may hear more of me in different formats. You may just get an update every six months. Just know that unless God chooses to take me home, I will be here. Safe, happy, busy, and still loving life.